Dealing With Loneliness in Your 20s
Your 20s are an era of transformation. It's the period when you graduate from college, transition into adulthood, and maybe even relocate away from your established social circle. For many, this means having a fresh start, and without the safety net of a college community, establishing new friendships can seem daunting. Whether you've encountered difficulties in finding “your people” or you're simply unsure where to begin, keep reading, and before you know it your social life will blossom!
But before delving into advice, let's extend ourselves some compassion. Making new friends can be really difficult! Don’t beat yourself up for facing hurdles in that area—it's a common struggle. On top of that, we live in a day and age where everything is posted online, making it easy to compare your social life with everyone else’s. Although most of us know social media isn’t real, that doesn’t make the FOMO (fear of missing out) any less intense. I get it, trust me! So, let's practice self-kindness and recognize that many others share these feelings.
So, what can we do to combat this? Well, first of all, it's essential to immerse yourself in environments conducive to meeting new people. This may seem obvious, but it can be easy to forget that just going about your daily routine probably isn’t enough to find new friends most of the time. And when I say environments for meeting new people, I mean social settings where individuals are open to interaction. For instance, consider joining a hiking club or participating in group painting lessons. Not only are fellow attendees likely seeking new connections as well, but shared interests provide an excellent conversation starter. If that makes you nervous and you’re not ready yet, consider spending more time out instead, like doing your work in a coffee shop so you can at least be around people.
Once you have made some friends, it is important to remember that friendships require effort on both ends to thrive and deepen. Even when feeling lonely, initiating contact and making plans can feel intimidating. However, these efforts are essential for fostering lasting bonds. To my fellow social anxiety girlies, I totally understand how scary it can be to reach out to new friends first and attempt to make plans but trust me, it’s worth it!
Another common challenge contributing to loneliness in your 20s is scheduling conflicts. Even if you have close friends, coordinating plans that fit everyone’s schedule can feel impossible. Before you know it, months have passed without seeing each other! While you can't change everyone's schedules, there are strategies to maintain connections. Never end a hangout without planning the next one. Make sure you know when you will see each other again so that you can at least have those plans to look forward to. Also, don’t be afraid to check in! Sometimes spontaneous last-minute plans are easier to pull off. And in the meantime, you can maintain your closeness through texting and Facetiming.
All in all, put yourself out there! Reach out to people on social media and see if they want to be friends, nurture new relationships, and don’t forget to keep up with your old ones. We’re all in the same boat of starting new lives and wanting to find a place where we belong, so don’t worry about initiating friendships—it often means more to the other person than you realize. Remember that you are awesome and have a lot to offer as a friend! Just be patient and you will find your people, I know it.
